Jay-Z has done a very good job with the old Alphaville classic.
Rather apposite:
Reminisce, talk some shit forever young is in your mind
So there I was, all vasovagal after having needles rammed into my wrists and in need of a recovery plan, lying in my car with my feet on the steering wheel. I know, I'll visit Jacques at City Rock.
The shop looked like Christmas. I thought about buying some stretch Prana pants. But I don't need those. I don't even really want those. Then I thought about buying some silly La Sportiva toe-thingies. They have a fancy name, but honestly, I couldn't take them seriously. My R 20 slops from Pick and Pay seem suitably unsuitable for staggering round at the base of the crag.
Then I spied it. An entire (insert correct collective noun) of wire gates with slinky connecting slings. I sidled over and fondled them. I went through the entire range, checking for the sound the gates makes when they close. You can do this with cars too, and their doors. Testing the resistance, then give, of the gates. Searching for the exquisite sensation that an incredibly well-crafted carabiner offers to the sensitive and expert hand.
Jeez, dude. Get a grip. This is starting to read like a potential entry for Pseuds Corner.
OK, so I bought the lot. The entire fricking lot. They weigh nothing. 12 of them weigh less than one of my old ones.
Matt arrived. My ex-girlfriend used to ovulate spontaneously at the sight of Matt's muscles. This pissed me off so much I broke up with her. Now, as I know she sometimes reads this blog, I have to say that it's possible not everything in the last two sentences is true. Don't sue me, babe!
At last, the denouement of this incredibly tortured narrative.
I reminisced, talked some shit and forever young was on my mind, so when the surgeon yells cut I'll be fine. I'm Forever Young.
25.10.10
Man Up...
...and pull down.
Actually it's now called Begging for Beta. This is an awesome route on The Godfather Buttress at Umgeni. Steep pulls with some inobvious moves lead to the roof. Then, after clipping, comes the main course. Insert the most mind-boggling knee bar, and pull up on some really skinny crimps. Such unlikely moves. The headwall is rather less obvious than one would like, with tricky-to-see holds. Finally, to my embarrassment, a finger crack that I found hard.
Brilliant.
And what's more, this is merely yet another route in Roger's incomparable list of first ascents. And I mean incomparable. The rest of us are just pissing in the wind.
He and I played on his new project for an hour or so. Phew. I had my really small shoes on. They didn't suit the rock at all, although on the first few moves they worked well enough. I couldn't do the hard rock over, however. At that point the difficulty ratchets up a lot of notches. As Roger himself might say, it gets properly difficult. Some small crimps lead, with difficulty, to a very hard bit. This will involve using a small porthole through the thin sheet of rock covering the main part of the mountain and reaching an OK crimp and... Jeepers. I am not sure. It is steep and very thin indeed.
Actually it's now called Begging for Beta. This is an awesome route on The Godfather Buttress at Umgeni. Steep pulls with some inobvious moves lead to the roof. Then, after clipping, comes the main course. Insert the most mind-boggling knee bar, and pull up on some really skinny crimps. Such unlikely moves. The headwall is rather less obvious than one would like, with tricky-to-see holds. Finally, to my embarrassment, a finger crack that I found hard.
Brilliant.
And what's more, this is merely yet another route in Roger's incomparable list of first ascents. And I mean incomparable. The rest of us are just pissing in the wind.
He and I played on his new project for an hour or so. Phew. I had my really small shoes on. They didn't suit the rock at all, although on the first few moves they worked well enough. I couldn't do the hard rock over, however. At that point the difficulty ratchets up a lot of notches. As Roger himself might say, it gets properly difficult. Some small crimps lead, with difficulty, to a very hard bit. This will involve using a small porthole through the thin sheet of rock covering the main part of the mountain and reaching an OK crimp and... Jeepers. I am not sure. It is steep and very thin indeed.
 |
| Something like "The Last Days of Gravity" |
By this time next year
- First ascent of Where I Stood
- Trip to kZN in the C30 with the greatest daughters in the entire universe
- Trip down the eviscerator at uShaka (Mirella went down it last month)
- Answer the question of whether Tori or Missy is the best
- I need to up my climbing game and get my eye back on the ball. No more dicking around on arbitrary activities. While these are amusing, they are contributing to the rapid disintegration of my wrists, are frustrating me because I can't be bothered to try (and hence end up feeling like a loser) and are taking time away from the real objective. Focus. Focus. Focus. Belief. Belief. Belief. In fact, it's time to go public with this: I am strong, light and skilful. I can do all the moves on this route. Nobody can hang on poor fingerlocks better than me. I want to do the first ascent of this climb. This is the most important goal in my life right at the moment. Clipping the anchors at the top of this climb will be an incredibly satisfying experience, looking down at the wall sweeping away beneath me. I can get the wrist and finger pain under control for long enough to get up the climb.
- Money.
- Closed eyes.
- I am listening to Hey Jupiter as I type this. Hey Jupiter is a staggeringly good song. I wish I had a video of the climb to set to the music. Actually I do.
- (Back to objective 1) Re-read the post called Value.
- (Back to objective 4) Maybe Hey Jupiter wins... It certainly doesn't come 2nd. That is, the live version (there are many on Tori's legal bootlegs), or the version played on keyboard etc. Watching Tori play this at Sydney Opera House as her encore...
 |
| Mirella saying "Shit!"having survived The Eviscerator |
Are you my hero?
Guy: "How is Roger?"
Me: "Roger is my hero!"
Guy: "What about me?"
If your name is Roger, Guy, Mike or Jim you might be my hero. At the very least you might be someone possessing qualities I admire very much.
Mike has no idea that I view him in this light - at least I very much doubt that he does. Mike Roberts. He really knew how to climb. What an inspiration he was.
Jim won't ever read this blog, sadly. He died on 7th April 1968. I didn't know him, although I did see him driving when I was very young. There is a line from a book by Doug Nye that I shall quote, perhaps incorrectly: "The memory of those apple green cars at speed, Clark's dark blue helmet visible above the coaming, the master so relaxed and confident and such a gentleman, still makes the eyes mist over." What else is there to add?
And then there was the Battle of Britain Spitfire pilot I saw on a documentary recently. At the age of 80, I guess, he went up in a 2 seater Spitfire. 60-odd years later there he was, flying a Spitfire once again. And as she handed over the controls, the pilot said over the radio to him: "You have control of my aircraft. I am very honoured, Sir." Yep.
Me: "Roger is my hero!"
Guy: "What about me?"
If your name is Roger, Guy, Mike or Jim you might be my hero. At the very least you might be someone possessing qualities I admire very much.
Mike has no idea that I view him in this light - at least I very much doubt that he does. Mike Roberts. He really knew how to climb. What an inspiration he was.
Jim won't ever read this blog, sadly. He died on 7th April 1968. I didn't know him, although I did see him driving when I was very young. There is a line from a book by Doug Nye that I shall quote, perhaps incorrectly: "The memory of those apple green cars at speed, Clark's dark blue helmet visible above the coaming, the master so relaxed and confident and such a gentleman, still makes the eyes mist over." What else is there to add?
And then there was the Battle of Britain Spitfire pilot I saw on a documentary recently. At the age of 80, I guess, he went up in a 2 seater Spitfire. 60-odd years later there he was, flying a Spitfire once again. And as she handed over the controls, the pilot said over the radio to him: "You have control of my aircraft. I am very honoured, Sir." Yep.
22.10.10
There is trouble on the way - shotgun purchased
 |
| Come any closer to my daughter and I'm gonna blow your balls off! |
This is not about intolerance, as had been promised
It's about raw, naked ambition.
- I need to own a Volvo C 30. Now.
- I want to do the first ascent of my project, which is grade 33 or harder. Soon.
- I want my wrists to be pain-free. Which is not that great an ambition, I admit, and which will soon be realised because I am visiting the orthopaedic surgeon on Monday.
Tolerance of ignorance
When should ignorance be tolerated and when should it be a capital offence?
Expressing adamant, contrary opinions based only on hearsay while remaining wantonly ignorant of well-established knowledge shouldn't be tolerated.
We need to get specific here. "Evolution. Pah. How can something as complex as the eye have evolved? Explain that to me." There is no excuse for saying this, because if you bothered to make the miniscule effort required you could find out the answer. "Climate change isn't real. It was hotter a long time ago." We shall ignore for now the wooliness of the phrasing, and assume that my putative speaker is trying to claim that anthropogenic forcing is not causing global warming. This isn't acceptable. If you are saying this you have expressed a silly opinion without informing yourself. If you are an insignificant prat with a miniscule sphere of influence this might not be too worrying and perhaps you need not be shot at dawn, but rather sentenced to some hard education. If you are A Person of Influence, please step outside and stand aginst the wall.
"We handed over countries with good infrastructures at independence and look how they fucked it up." Well yes. And no. Check up on state of the indigenous population at independence and re-assess your comment. What were education levels? Why were the borders of the country defined in the positions that they were? And so on. And so forth.
I would venture to suggest that, unless you know what you are on about, a little reading before opening your mouth might be A Good Thing.
In my next post I shall consider when intolerance should be a capital offence, assuming I have not been taken outside and shot before that.
If you wish to find out more about the topics mentioned above I have a reading list for you.
Expressing adamant, contrary opinions based only on hearsay while remaining wantonly ignorant of well-established knowledge shouldn't be tolerated.
We need to get specific here. "Evolution. Pah. How can something as complex as the eye have evolved? Explain that to me." There is no excuse for saying this, because if you bothered to make the miniscule effort required you could find out the answer. "Climate change isn't real. It was hotter a long time ago." We shall ignore for now the wooliness of the phrasing, and assume that my putative speaker is trying to claim that anthropogenic forcing is not causing global warming. This isn't acceptable. If you are saying this you have expressed a silly opinion without informing yourself. If you are an insignificant prat with a miniscule sphere of influence this might not be too worrying and perhaps you need not be shot at dawn, but rather sentenced to some hard education. If you are A Person of Influence, please step outside and stand aginst the wall.
"We handed over countries with good infrastructures at independence and look how they fucked it up." Well yes. And no. Check up on state of the indigenous population at independence and re-assess your comment. What were education levels? Why were the borders of the country defined in the positions that they were? And so on. And so forth.
I would venture to suggest that, unless you know what you are on about, a little reading before opening your mouth might be A Good Thing.
In my next post I shall consider when intolerance should be a capital offence, assuming I have not been taken outside and shot before that.
If you wish to find out more about the topics mentioned above I have a reading list for you.
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